Broken Souls, Bleeding Hearts
by Muse-san
Summary: They can’t hear your kind voice, softly floating on the breeze, like a love song tickling my ear." UPDATE
1. Overview Important

Hey everyone! Muse here.

The following saga that I will be uploading will be made up of various song ficlets, all revolving around Evanescence songs. I have been considering this for a while, and thought it stupid, but I heard that someone else had also published an Evanescence songfic, and I figured, perhaps it's not such a dumb idea after all. ^_^

These fics will vary in time frames, from the beginning of the Rurouni Kenshin exodus all the way to post Seisouhen. (I realize that Seisouhen is an OVA and pretty much just a media fan fiction, but I'll probably use it anyways.) They won't be in any particular order. Also, they have no particular relation to each other unless I state so. Keep in mind that I am trying to include various types and views of the characters, so as to appease the majority of you who read this. For example, Tomoe might be considered a hindrance by Kenshin in one ficlet, but then again be considered worthy of remembrance in another ficlet. 

I have rated this overall a PG-13, but please check the ratings at the top of the page before you read any chapter of this saga. The ratings are subject to change. However, NO LEMONS will be written. Not even limes. Perhaps a few little romantic (probably not of the Waffy sort) scenes here and there, and suggestions of other behavior.

Keep in mind that it is possible that some chapters will be dark. Most likely, all of them will be more on the dramatic side, as I'm not much at writing humor fics and keeping them in character. If you cannot handle darker subjects, I ask that you not read this. Use your own judgment. 

All comments are appreciated, as well as constructive criticisms. However, flames are not necessary and I ask that they not be submitted. If you feel it necessary to write cruel remarks, please email them to me personally. I'm not very appreciative of cowards who flame and then leave me no way to get in touch with them. Even if you aren't flaming, keep in mind that I _love_ email. Very, very much. They will be received gratefully, and you're more likely to get a reply to emailed comments. 

Thank you very much. Please continue on to the ficlets, which, by the way, I will do everything I can to update every Saturday.

Off 2 neverneverland,

**Muse** ^_^

**imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


	2. Sweet Rapture

*****OVA (Trust/Betrayal) SPOILERS*****

**A/N: **Hey, minna-san! This ficlet is going to be from Tomoe's POV, and I must admit that this is a first. I don't think I did too badly, but I know with practice, I will definitely improve. 

**WARNING: **Angst. Read at your own discretion!

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Never has been. Never will be. 

**Rating:** PG-13

**POV:** Tomoe

**Time Period: **Bakumatsu

~*~*~*~

**"Sweet Rapture"**

It is painful.  I will admit that, if nothing else.  Still…the sting of your cool blade in my shoulder isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Perhaps the frozen winter air has dulled my sense of pain. Oh, but don't worry, it's not too cold.  No, the warmth of my blood is making up for the chill. 

_Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long_

Not much longer. I can feel myself slipping away, even as your strong arms hold me tight.  Ever since I first met you, I knew it was likely a fate such as this was likely—a fate in which I greeted my death.  After all, I was to be betraying the cruel hitokiri, Battousai.  Even if I didn't follow through with my original plans, I am suffering the consequences of my intentions.

_  
All I wanted to say was  
I love you and I'm not afraid  
  
_

You're blaming yourself. Of course you would. It was your sword that spilt my blood upon the pure snowy ground.  I'd change your mind if I had the ability, but as I know such is not within my grasp, I will give you my only comfort. My love.  

_  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms  
Holding my last breath?  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you_

Akira was my first, and he still is, the object of my affections, but you…you.  You are the second man whom I have grown to love, though not as deeply as Akira, but I love you nonetheless.  My love for your is pure and devoid of fear, and to tell you would only hurt you, my Kenshin. To tell you would be to inspire so much more guilt, and so, I hold those sweet words inside and portray what I can through my eyes, though you cannot see it.  You only see my pain as I breath my last precious breaths of air, and the threads of my life unwind. _  
  
Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight.  
  
_

Is this how it is supposed to feel, this time, these moments? So beautiful and peaceful, death is.  My pain is ending, and my rapture is bittersweet. The bitterness of your guilt and my betrayal are the only things which mar this sweet ending to my miserable life. 

_  
I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree_

Look for me, Kenshin. My spirit. It will be around, always, protecting and watching you.  The supernatural will do far more than this frail earthly body could ever do for you.  I'll be watching, Kenshin, always watching. _  
  
I know you hear me,  
I can taste it in your tears.  
Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you._

Your eyes…I know…you know what I'm thinking. I can see your thoughts through those windows to your very soul.  You know how much I care, Ken--…are…are those? They are. You're crying for me, for this. Those salty droplets are few, but present.  Imagine, the heartless Battousai is crying for a woman who betrayed him.  I would have thought it ironic when I only knew you by the legends, but now I see that I should have expected such from you.  I'll take this secret to the grave. _  
  
Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight._

I'm so sorry, Kenshin. _  
  
Closing your eyes  
You pray your dreams will leave you here,  
But still you wake and know the truth -  
No one's there._

Now you're closing your eyes.  Are you ashamed, or simply running from the truth?  Oh, Kenshin.  When you open your eyes, I will be gone.  Nothing can change that, nothing can keep you from being alone and without actual human company, but I will be here. I will be in the shadows, watching you, as long as you keep my memory alive.  I know you will, because this cut which I give you will remind you always.  Let the cool steel be a reminder of this one you lost, and let it remind you that she is always there. _  
  
Say goodnight, don't be afraid  
Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black._

My body is going limp.  I can't even hold the dagger anymore.  I can hear it hit the snow, followed closely by my hand.  You whisper my name as your eyes open in realization.  You wish to say something more in these last seconds, but you don't. You don't.  You only hold me, knowing that your image is slowly disappearing from my sight, fading to darkness.  Don't fear for me, Kenshin.  I'll be alright. _  
  
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath  
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself  
(Holding me) Are my thoughts of you_

My last breath is more exhilarating than any I've ever taken in my life. 

_  
Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight._

And so it ends. 

The curtains are drawn over the stage of my life.   
~*~*~*~

**A/N:** Yeah, I know, I know. Not too Tomoe-like, but I'm learning. ^_^ Also, I **do know** that there are run-on sentences scattered in this ficlet, but they are there on purpose, for the flow that I was trying to achieve. Thanks for reading!

**Make my day! Leave a review!**

**Muse**

**Imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


	3. Fields of Innocence

*****SEISOUHEN SPOILERS*****

**A/N:  **Yet another chapter. It's a bit short; sorry about that. But hey, my early update should make up for that. 

 This one focuses on what I believe Suzume could have thought upon finding out about Kenshin's death.  It will involve a bit off OOCness, but keep in mind that Suzume will be older, in her late teens, I believe. Perhaps her mid-teens, which is quite a bit more mature than her younger days. Keep in mind that I have not yet read the end of the manga (my parents are forcing me to wait for the English translations rather than buying me the original and letting me use online translations, and I haven't found any scanslations that have reached the end of the story that haven't been pulled offline due to Viz recently claiming rights to RK.) Thus, I do not know exactly what happened to Dr. Gensai and his granddaughters, nor exactly where they are during SeiSouHen, so I used my imagination and writing liberties to write this ficlet.  Enjoy! Please remember to review!

Oh, and I used the anime version of Suzume's reference to Kenshin. Uncle Kenny. I think it's cute. ^_^ 

**WARNING: **Angst.

**Disclaimer:** I _would write a fan fiction if I owned the characters and could manipulate the original story line to my every whim. Yep. I would. _

**Rating: **PG/PG-13****

**POV: **Suzume****

**Time Period: **Post SeiSouHen****

~*~*~*~

**"Fields of Innocence"****

"Nice and clean, Uncle Kenny! Nice and clean!" my sister and I would cry as you held up a piece of laundry you had just washed.

_I still remember the world_

_From the eyes of a child_

Those were the days. Scrubbing laundry, playing in the yard, no worries obscuring our little utopia.  Well, except for those times when some self-righteous lunatic would try to kill you for some reason, whether for revenge or taking over the world. Besides that, though, we had such a wonderful life.   That's the way it should have been.  Children are supposed to be happy, and you made sure Ayame and I were such. You gave us the illusion that we lived in a perfect world, where a happy ending was always in sight, where people we loved never died, where_ you_ would always be there, protecting us from any lurking evils of the world. 

_Slowly those feelings _

_Were clouded by what I know now_

I want to go back to that.  I miss those rose-tinted glasses you placed in front of our eyes, because then, we didn't have to feel pain.  Oh, sure, the occasional scraped knee and hurt feelings, but actual, rip-open-your-heart pain?  Of course not.  You protected us from that.  You helped us retain the softness of our hearts.  I hate that all your efforts were in vain. 

_Where has my heart gone_

_An uneven trade for the real world_

I had to grow up, eventually.  The seat of my emotions has been scarred and calloused, Uncle Kenny.  These stabbing pains are beginning to dull as reality hardens their victim and builds up layer of thicker skin.  Funny how, when I was young, I longed for these days of maturity, and now that they are here…

_I want to go back to _

_Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all_

Now…I want to go back.  Back to those days when I knew nothing of gut wrenching agony or tears of depression. Back to those days, when all I had to do was call your name, and you could fix my "boo boos." 

Back to those days when all I had to do was believe, have faith. I only had to have faith in you and your strength, and the strength of my family, and we would always have a happy ending.  Now, no amount of faith can bring you, Kaoru, Yahiko—everyone, us—a happy ending. 

Or maybe we have no happy ending because I quit believing. 

_I still remember the sun_

_Always warm on my back_

_Somehow it seems colder now_

When we went to the market place, I had no insecurities or worries about those around me.  All people were good, kind, and gentle.  You taught us that even those who did bad things had good inside them.  Because of your words, I could always place under the warm sun without fear and without having to constantly keep and eye out to see if someone looked suspicious.  

But as I go in the market place now, I must be ever aware of my surroundings.  It's strange. I never realized that sunlight could be so cold, so indifferent.  What happened to the sun being our friend, something which illuminated all the goodness in the world? 

_Where has my heart gone_

_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_

When I heard from Yahiko about you, and how Kaoru was following in your footsteps…that was when I cut myself off emotionally.  I didn't want to believe that you were gone, because when you left, I could no longer deny that those euphoric childhood days had also passed, only to be memories, sketched in my heart.  A year after that, I began to wonder where I had put my heart. Don't worry, Uncle Kenny. I found it. I was looking in the river, and saw a strange girl looking back at me.  She looked a lot like me.  It was strange; I almost thought it was me, but she had a heart.  Well, more than just a heart.  It was my heart, and I could see it in her eyes. I asked her if I could have it back, and she was nice enough to return it. I was very lucky, ne? Others might not have been so kind.  

_I want to go back to _

_Believing in everything_

I know you're watching me, two years after you've left.  Perhaps you aren't be happy that I am feeling this pain, but the pain is a sign that I have a heart, ne? As long as I have a heart, I can learn to believe again. I'm sure you're glad about that.

Most likely, I will never be able to permanent go back to those days, living in a childlike illusion, but I can believe nonetheless. Every time I have faith, I can relive those childhood memories, and when I do that, I can almost remember what it was like to have a happy ending. 

_Believing in everything_

  
~*~*~*~

**** _Original song title, not mine_**

**A/N: **chew nails So…how was it? Oh really? Hmm…too bad I can't read your mind. Fanfiction.Net really ought to make something that you can use to tell us authors how we're doing! What? They did? OH! So that's what that little button down there is for.  What are you doing, still reading this?! Click on it! Leave me a review!

**Muse**

**imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


	4. Loving You

******SEISOUHEN SPOILERS******

**A/N:** Ah ha! Another update! Woo hoo! 

This is rather short.  There wasn't really much for me to say, but I wanted to get this out. It's a KxK, not too angsty. Actually, it's more of a happy angst. That was a total oxymoron, but I think you'll understand once you read the fic. I did this so as to lighten the mood a little before I continue on to what I am planning to be an extremely angsty chapter. ^_^  And reviewer responses are at the bottom!

**WARNING:**  Reference to "wedding night" occurrence, very clean and small. So small that it's a blink and you'll miss it thing. Nothing else, really, except for the fact that Kenshin will be referred to as Shinta. I put that under the warning because some people don't like this form of reference, but it coincides with the famous media fanfiction, SeiSouHen. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the Rurouni Kenshin characters, nor do I own the song "Even in Death" by Evanescence. 

**Rating:** PG

**POV:** Kaoru

**Time Period:** Post SeiSouHen

~*~*~*~

_I love thee, I love but thee  
With a love that shall not die  
Till the sun grows cold,  
And the stars grow old..._

--Bayard Taylor

~*~*~

"Loving You"

I know that your earthly body is no longer living. I know that I can no longer touch you or hold you, and feel your loving response to my caress.  I saw your body give out, with a smile upon pale lips as the sakura petals rained down around us. But still…

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone._

I don't think you've left me.  How could I believe that you've left me?_  
  
I see your shadow so I know  
That they're all wrong_

Yahiko, Suzume, Ayame, Kenji…they think I'm losing my sanity.  I hear them repeating, over and over, that you're gone. That I'll never see you again. That you're dead, but I don't believe it.  Don't be upset, Kensh—I mean, Shinta.  I don't argue with them. I don't need to prove that they're wrong.  There's no reason to do so.  As long as I see you, your fiery tresses and steel blue eyes (1), that disarming rurouni smile of yours, I know that you're there, always shadowing us, watching. 

_  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay.  
They took you away from me  
But now I'm taking you home_

In your body, you were always fighting and protecting.  You fought for the innocent and protected the weak, and this drive led you away from me, Shinta. At times, I would selfishly resent those who called you away from me, but when the night came and the moon rose, my dreams took me to a place…a beautiful place, where you and I were together, living happily with our friends.  I loved that place in my dreams.  I could even call it heaven, but now, heaven isn't good enough.  Heaven can't better this, you being here.  I've brought you home, and here you will stay, Shinta. We'll be together, you and me, even if others don't think we are. They can't change the truth. _  
  
I will stay forever here with you, my love.  
The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

I am always with you, our hearts joined into one to form a common meeting place. Our hearts are joined by those words, whispered sweetly under the stars, softly in my ear on our wedding day, or exhaustedly after a night's pleasure. It took me so long to break down the barriers around your heart, but it seems that once that barrier was broken, nothing could ever block our love for each other again. Not even the obstacle of death. _  
  
Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love  
But no bonds can hold me  
From your side, oh my love_

Am I crazy, my love? Mentally deficient for knowing claiming that I am always at your side, in spirit if not in body? Is the shadow of you that I see in the dojo, beside the bathhouse, in the training yard just a figment of my imagination? They seem to think so. They, as in our friends.  They think it's the disease talking. Either that or what they think is grief from being separated from you.  It's neither, dear Shinta.  Especially, it's not the latter, because I am not separated from you.  I remember mourning your death at first, but now I've realized the truth. Nothing could keep me away from you, Shinta. Nothing. 

_  
They don't know you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me_

I couldn't expect them to know, to know the moments we've shared—those moments which have forever bonded your soul with mine.  They haven't heard your promise to always be with me, to love me.  They can't hear your kind voice, softly floating on the breeze, like a love song tickling my ear. 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and your body is absent, Shinta. But since your spirit, your heart, your love—since they are always with me, my heart can never grow anymore fonder of your than it is.  Really, it's never been given the chance, because your love has never left me. 

_  
And I can't love you, anymore than I do_

I could never love you any more than I do now. 

~*~*~*~

(1) I realize that in the anime, Kenshin has purple eyes.  Still, the manga, I believe, depicts him with blue eyes. As I want to stay close to Watsuki-sama's original design, I've portrayed him with blue eyes. However, in other fics, I might portray him with his popular violet hues so as to please my audience. 

**Review Responses:**

SAKURA BUTTERFLY: Wow! My very first reviewer! Thanks so much for checking out my ficlets. Your reviews really encouraged me! I mean, if you cried, then my words have evoked an emotion in you, and that's the whole reason I want to write. I'm glad you enjoyed my ficlets, and I hope you'll continue to read and review! 

YUME KUROI: My stories? Impressive? He-ey! That makes me feel better. It's reviews like yours that give us authors a desire to continue writing. Thanks so much for your kind words! Oh yeah, and I'm glad you like the dark fic with Evanescence thing. Works pretty well with Rurouni Kenshin ficlets, ne?

BARBARA SHERIDAN: You have _no_ idea how great your reviews make me feel. To have a published author telling me she enjoys my writing style and my ficlets? That is so awesome! I know I've told you this a million times, but thanks so much for reading my ficlets! You've reviewed everything I've done so far within the RK community, and it is really an encouragement. 

**Hey, readers, new and old! There's a lil' review button down there. Click it and make my day! ^_^ Or even, be a bit extra sweet and send an email!**

**Muse**

**imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


	5. Author's Note

Hey, minna-san!

Uh….he he he…sorry, this isn't an update. Before anyone throws any vegetables at me, let me explain my problems these past two weeks!

Being two weeks before Thanksgiving, it seems my teachers have really been piling on the homework and dishing out the tests. I've been doing some major studying and book hitting lately. (Especially in AP US History, but I love that class so I don't mind all the research papers, essays, and tests!) I don't take classes in periods, I take them in blocks; therefore, I cover the same material in half a year that most cover in a whole year, because I have fewer classes a day. The only classes I take year round are A/B classes that…okay, off the subject. Anyways, as I take such classes, I have finals coming up soon and that's yet another reason for the extra classwork. Not only this, but I have had a cheerleading competition last Saturday and this Saturday, and had some long practices after school. In fact, they were longer than usual because we had to completely change the routine this week and last week as people keep getting hurt and were forced to keep rearranging. We almost couldn't go last week because we were only going to have about 11 people (supposed to have 16, minimum 13 if we wanted pyramids, which are a NECESSITY to place), but two of our girls sucked it up so we could make it with the bare minimum of cheerleaders.  Not surprisingly, both of them ended up in the hospital this week because they overstressed their injuries, and we resorted to stupid pep squads for more cheerleaders. Sigh. Oh, yeah, did I mention we didn't place at either competition? anger b/c of stupid injuries 

I was going to have an update this weekend. I wrote a reflective poem on Seta Soujiro during Spanish 2 (^_^)…unfortunately, my poem is in my notebook…in my locker. Oops! But I'm hoping to post it Monday, along with an essay I did on Soujiro (again, during my _boring_ Spanish class) under a separate title. 

Even though I have very few reviewers, and probably very few readers, I find each and every one of you important and special.  Even if you are few in numbers, you deserve consistency, and when you don't get it, you deserve an explanation. I hope ya'll will forgive me! ^_^

_Off 2 neverneverland,_

**Muse**

**imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


	6. Just Like You

******SPOILERS FOR THE ****KYOTO**** ARC******

**A/N:  **Omg! I'm so sorry, minna-san! I have been so busy, as you can see by the author's note, but I'm here and updated! Finally…

This is a poem, actually, that I wrote during Spanish class.  The lyrics splattered through it are from different Evanescence songs and were added _after_ I wrote the poem. I was going to post it under a separate fic, but I figured if I added the lyrics in, it would fit into this lil' saga of mine! ^_^ 

This probably isn't my best work; I'm not that pleased with it. I actually tried to rhyme every other line, for the most part, and I don't really like it that much. It makes it seem like it has a childish beat, in my opinion; kinda like a little happy, carefree thing. However, my dear friend (who inspired me to write "Permanent Ecstasy"), Alexia, said it seemed like I was using a kind of ironic literary tool.  As this poem is about Soujiro, the carefree and childish beat of the poem reflects a bit of his character like we see it on the outside, while the words are a bit angsty and painful, like he is on the inside. Weird, ne? But enough to keep me from destroying the poem. Still, I must admit I couldn't fight the urge to put a few, offbeat lines in there. Hey, I like poetry like that (the timing a bit off)!

Once again, FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING! bows x_x I hope to write a couple of extra chapters this Thanksgiving break (if the relatives are too demanding for my time ^_^) to make up for it. On to the poem!

**WARNING: **Angst.

**Disclaimer:** I _would write a fan fiction if I owned the characters and could manipulate the original story line to my every whim. Yep. I would. _

I don't own _Whisper, Understanding, Lies, Going Under,  or_ _Everybody's Fool_, all by Evanescence. 

**Rating: **PG-13****

**POV: **Seta Soujiro****

**Time Period:  **Near the end of the Kyoto arc

~*~*~*~

"Just Like You"

A smile, a smirk

To hide the pain

_fallen__ angels at my feet_

_whispered__ voices at my ear_

Stench of blood

Driving me insane.

But I'll hide the pain

And I won't tell

_I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

They'll be ignorant of

My personal hell.

_if__ I will it all away_

I suffer alone.

_can't__ wash it all away, can't wish it all away_

_can't__ cry it all away, can't scratch it all away_

And I've lost.

I've lost to Himura

He's becoming the best

In this tangled web

This survival of the fittest.

So I wander.

_forsaking__ all I've fallen for_

_I rise to meet my end_

I wander to find

Truth within myself

_blurring__ and stirring the truth and the lies_

_so__ I don't know what's real and what's not_

The world I knew

I have now left.

I'm now alone

To wander ten years

I want to learn 

How to shed tears.

I want to express

The pain inside

To remove the mask

Behind which I hide.

_without__ the mask where you hide_

_can't__ find yourself, lost in your lie_

But I can't.

Not yet.

But one day my dreams

They will come true

And I will become 

Human, just like you. 

_but__ through my tears breaks a blinding light_

_birthing__ a dawn to this endless night_

  
~*~*~*~*~

So? How was it? Bad? Good? Why don't you let me know by dropping of a lil' review? Remember: reviews = inspiration. 

**Muse**

**imaginationsoul@yahoo.com**


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